// purplemae ponders....

give peace a chance

nobody@vox.com(NisaZ) — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 16:24:17 +0000

when things look like there's no way.... there's a way

to do the impossible. to survive the unsurvivable

inspired.

in the face of the impossible, we're inspired

dont give no in your way. Be inspired.

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saw VI!!!! me want.

nobody@vox.com(NisaZ) — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 07:28:13 +0100

i formatted my ipod and filled it with new playlists cos the old ones were too messy :s

i thought i might share with u guys whats in my playlist so far, they're all '09 release:

breaking benjamin - dear agony
our lady peace - burn burn
all 4 one - no regrets
hoobastank - for(n)ever
colbie caillat - breakthrough
three days grace - life starts now
green day - 21th century breakdown
daughtry - leave this town
thousand foot krutch - welcome to the masquerade
the red jumpsuit apparatus - lonely road
ingrid michaelson - everybody
creed - full circle

peterpan (just cos i have to have peterpan songs on the go)

awesome piece. bye.

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just breathe

nobody@vox.com(NisaZ) — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 17:14:37 +0100

received my boxes last friday. i was so excited i finished unpacking all of them in one day. siukkk mcm buka treasure box. found my ic (lol?). found ddr games (oh joy~). found my books (which i havent finish reading them all :D)

and....
because you can never have too many pair of jeans! some of them are still new (i have this habit of saving the best ones for specials hahaa and keep buying for more!)

i.need.new.rack.
to Nyls, if u see carefully i still have your book! hahaha soriii lupa ku bagi balik. i finished reading it after the exam (atu batah). im still waiting for The Lost Symbol to come in my mail. i miss bookshopping at amazon :(

guitar fingers still purple. main sampai lupa kan makan :s sometimes i have days when all i want to do is learning new song. currently its Anna Nalick - Breathe (2AM).

how i met your mother is getting boring. tahap maksima. the big bang theory ---- quotes worthy.

i am loving supernatural tracks.

Bibers...wherever you are...nisa is missing you all <3 each and everyone of you~

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crash into me

nobody@vox.com(NisaZ) — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 13:33:40 +0100

there's a clarity thing when you cross over the edge. there's a moment when everything just melts away and you're fearless.

it goes away. that feeling like you can do anything. that clarity...it goes away.

and you're back to being... normal.

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bad enough?

nobody@vox.com(NisaZ) — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 15:30:43 +0100

today has been an emotional roller coaster rides.

i have no personal space. felt a bit left out. felt useless. unproductive. felt irritated over small things. confused. the not-so- funny jokes. crazy things even. today seems to be the day i burst and break into pieces.

but not all things happened were negative, there were few things which kept me together.

received my deposit back. thats a relief.
submitted another spa form. at this particular department i really want to work at. its the dream.
retail therapy with the sister. always a relief.
solved the little misunderstanding over the sensitivity part. thank you Allah for the wonderful friends i have. i miss you guys.

by the end of the night, i was supposed to feel calm and grateful on many things. but as i ready to get some rest and enjoy the dvd marathon with my sister..we found out that the chinese series that we bought have no subtitles.

on any other day, i wouldnt mind.
on any other day, i would sleep and get back to it the next day.
but no.
this is not any other day.
today.. im supposed to feel okay by the end of the night.
tonight.. im supposed to feel at ease. peace.
today..after all that emotional breakdown, i feel the need to be relaxed.

so i went out. to get a refund or replacement. plus, i need to drive. driving is my de-stress therapy. especially at night.

by the time i got to the shop, i went to the counter girl to whom i bought the dvd the night before. and asked for refund. but only to find out that they refused to refund it and worse they can only replace it with the same dvd. well, im not opposed to the rule but up until now, i believe that we should get a refund if we find any problem with the dvd. its customer right. but the girl insisted that they cant do it.

i.feel.cheated.

so i walked away. with a huge disappointment. usually i can let it go but this time i couldnt. that dvd was bought by my sister, it costs her $8. (i know its not that big amount of money but its her money, not mine) and with that amount of cash i can fuelled my car up to half tank. disappointing my sister is not my option. it's never an option. but i held back and trying as hard as i could not to let this thing gets to me.

as i drove away, i still cant let it go. im not satisfied with their answer. i gave up too easily. too early.
as i held onto the steering wheel, i was clearing my head to see it clearer.
as i drove around the block, my sis made a sad face.

thats when it hits me,

i cant see her like this.
i cant let her shed tears because of this stupid thing.
i cant let people say no to me and not stand up for my own.
moreover, i am right.

damn it customer is always right!

so i stopped. and went back into the shop.

i met the girl and demanded to see their boss. off course they said the boss is not there. im not buying it, thats old tactic. ive used that before. then i started to explain how they should be aware of selling those unsubtitled dvds to the customer, how she was busy with customer at that time she ignored to test my dvd. i demand my right to be serve rightfully as im one of their loyal customer and i was being considerate when she chose not to test the series as i bought lots of other dvds, because i was making way for other customer to be served. it turned out being nice failed in this context. im not that pushy cos i trust them. i trust them cos i believe theres rule.and its just wrong not telling people that some dvds dont have subtitles. plus, ive been in the same situation before and they did let me choose another dvd. so for as long as i know, i am right.

in the end she said its ok and i can choose other series and advised me again about their rule.

okay.. around this time i was already be-istighafar as many as i could because i started to feel guilty confronting her. im a sucker for guilty conscience.

problem solved. i chose another series. this time i make sure it has subtitles.

feels good?

i did but i didn't walk away with a happy face. i know in lots of ways i did do wrong. like upsetting them. demanding to see the boss. and fully assuming that all dvds have subtitles. making annoyed face at the girl.

im sorry.

i already said it to you and your friends before i went out of the shop but just in case you stumbled on this post and you're still annoyed at me for being such a pain in the ass customer...

i am sorry.

i didnt mean to look down on you, you just happened to caught me on my bad day. the day my iman level is not that strong.

my head was full of steam... im still recovering from the roller coaster rides. somehow i channelled all that angry energy to you.

i am truly sorry. and thank you for being kind in return.

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hi

nobody@vox.com(NisaZ) — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 19:39:48 +0100

im not fond of interviews -- the thought of them judging you based on first impression, certificates and how much u know things. i wonder how it feels to be the interviewee. must be fun for them to see nervous candidates in front of them. having control of the situation.

puasa has been a blessing month for me. alhamdulillah.by the time raya ends, i should start focusing more on job hunting. atm i only applied for few positions. people say less is more. i kinda hoping it is. pray with me i would lay my hands on one of the jobs ive applied.

i timed the time it takes for me from the mall to my place. jobless much? gadong centre is only like 10mins away from my place. on a clear traffic day. lol. im a driveholics.

raya is tomorrow. well, thats what my sister wishes for. as for me, i wish it's still Ramadhan. when in any other month you would find every single night to be so lively -- there is a change in the atmosphere that only comes with the appearance of the holy month, a month i feel like no other, the mosques are always full with people, the night feels calmer than ever. not to mention the awesome meals each restaurant has to offer. one thing, buffet is not for me.

sometimes i wonder why is it different when Ramadhan comes? Is it because people suddenly flock to shops/gerai Ramadhan to buy foods for sungkai? or is it the fact that when sungkai time arrives, you will suddenly see the traffic to disappear and people are at the restaurants and homes waiting to break their fast together? Is it because even at 12 in the morning, restaurants are still in business and offering more good foods for sahur? Yes, these are among the simple things that makes Ramadhan special. but what i love the most is the fact when i pass mosques, they illuminates and the voice of imam reciting dua feels soothing. Ramadhan lullaby :) it's a nice sight as well to see people are rushing to the nearest mosque after sungkai to perform terawih prayer -- only during Ramadhan.

i was listening to the radio when i came across a song with lyric,

"daripada kita pacaran, lebih baik kita sholawatan"

im sure most of you heard it. its always on air. but aint that sweet? its like "aku-ingin-menjadi-yg-halal-bagimu"and "biarlah-aku-menjadi-imam-hidupmu"-kinda sweet.

thanks to my niece i am now following Nur Kasih series and i found the storylines to be pretty evoking. The story about two brothers of opposite personality - one is very religious while the other is the exact opposite. the dying father arranged the second son to marry a religious girl hoping that it will bring his son back to the right path in becoming a good muslim. The rest of the story, catch it on tv3 every Friday 9pm. but i already missed few episodes so ive been watching it from here or u can download it from here. If you’re a fan of Ayat-Ayat Cinta i bet you'll like this drama too.

im still waiting for my boxes. alum sampai. im suspecting my ic is in one of the boxes, or else where else could i lost it. im sure i had it before i pack all my stuffs. and most of my makeups are in there. not that i need them but it's nice to have more options. im a girl afterall.

im in love with a boy ;) although he's a bit annoying at times but he's definitely cute all the time. his name is azfariel. my new nephew. i gave him the name, the story goes like this. my brother wanted a very unique name, someone who hasnt got it yet and something that has no meaning (dont ask why, bebuyah dah mulutku mengexplain that a name should have a meaning). so ive been helping him searching for rare names but all my suggestions went to the bin. then i remember Doni (a fren) has a middle name Azphael and i kinda like it. so i mention it to my brother but he rejected it. why?

he said,

"krg nininya manggil ia pail. tau tah org tua ani sabutannya lain. krg kana ucap titian pail" ('pail' is the wooden titian yg connect kg ayer house to each other)

lol? harsh rejection. i gave up.

then the boy came out. 2 weeks early and we dont have a name yet. a name Fariel came out of nowhere but one problem, my brother wanted a name starts with an A (yup, he's that stubborn). so i said bah Azfariel tah saja. it took a while for him to accept the name (or maybe he just cant think of a good comeback). i call him Fariel, sometimes Ariel cos i like peterpan haha. he likes listening to people singing. diam tu ia mendgr suara org menyanyi. so cute! who doesnt love a baby kan?

im not satisfied with my baju raya(s). i took all my kain to the usual shop but the tailor who usually make my baju is not there anymore, new worker udah and she's rly bad at it. and im clueless on whats the latest trend with baju kurung nowadays. my sister has been showing off new fashions to me but im not interested at all. i just wanna stick to the usual cutting. tapi udah siap ani ku liat mcm lawa tia jua baju adiku atu. cana ni? :s oh im sure u guys noticed there's this new trend of Hackett polo shirt, LV and Bonia right now. last time i knew was the Von Dutch bag, remember that? wow i am so ketinggalan. anyway, its no fun when everyone is using the same thing. no? i wouldnt be happy if i happen to stumble a person who has the same exact bag or shirt as mine. unless its a groupie thing, same attire is not acceptable. lols. picky. im not saying its not good to have them, hey i bought the unoriginal LV bag jua pun pasal its cute and matches my shoes. see im not making sense at all -- contradicting myself. but then kan, i thought yg i bought ani only sold at certain shops sekali the next day i went to expo and saw the exact bag sold at almost every stalls. rupanya i bought it the day it just arrived out of the box. PHAILED. oh well... in the end some would say, suka ati ku lah kan pakai apa, usinku :P

paid a visit to my late grandma's grave last week. early morning drive, especially during ramadhan month, the road at 7am is almost empty. siuk. saw 2 kids sat by the durian tree waiting for the durians to fall. ive never seen such a very tall tree, its like 3 storey-tall.

it's weird now that i dont have to go back to UK anymore. what am i gonna do after this? after puasa, after raya? i mean these are the things thats keeping me from thinking too much on being jobless.

anyhow, i know Allah has plans for me..all i gotta do is keep trying.

till next entry :)

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my current top on-repeat songs

nobody@vox.com(NisaZ) — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 02:32:33 +0100

... and its all about good lyrics.

this song is simple and sweet, as i expected from Colbie. every song from her reminds me of one particular person =) This song is not available in mp3 form yet, not even in any of her album cos she wrote it while she's on tour

listening to this song, brings me back to 2002, when my life was less complicated - still in highschool. life gets more complicated each day....

another of Norah Jones's. wrong timing to listen to it now, cos summer is yet to come (if you know the lyrics :p) but nevertheless it's a perfect lullaby

Tompi - Cinta yang ku cari. cos im a hopeless romantic >.<

my favourite classical music - Canon in D cover by JerryC. Azrul told me that he's the one who started to play the song by electric guitar. awesome cover

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cut my life into pieces, this is my last resort

nobody@vox.com(NisaZ) — Sun, 19 Apr 2009 22:50:26 +0100

finally after 2 years i had a chance to see them live again. this time im closer because i was standing at the front row just against the barrier that separates the stage and the crowd. I was very close, their sweats fell on me while they're performing - Jacoby and Jerry directly made eye contact with me ahahahaa :p I queued early and stood out in the cold for 4hrs just to be that close to the stage.

it's the best gig so far. and probably the last gig for me. It's a great way to end it anyway because Papa Roach is my most favourite band of all time eversince their rapcore period until now.

After the opening acts (by Dear Superstars and Filters), Papa Roach came on stage bringing out the crazyness into the crowd. The opening song is enough to start the mosh pit wars among the crowd, believe it or not there's already many people being crowd surf and passed out by the end of the first song. I was lucky to get the front standing and i believe it's the safest spot to be in a rock gig - the barrier is good for support when things went out of control. anyhow, its the craziest mosh pit ever (minus the download festival i went to 2 yrs ago).

every crowd surfers were asked to read this afterwards.they performed almost everything from their mainstream songs from previous albums and their latest album, metamorphosis. They had performed the best show ive ever watch, the craziest gig ive ever went to, they rocked me to my core.

random flag made by fan which they threw at Jacoby, the lead singer, then he taped it over the speaker.Jacoby was awesome and very fan-loving; he tried to make contact with his fans as many as possible. Every crowdsurfers who tried to reach him, he reciprocated by hugging them back before the security guards pulled them back and few of them make it to the stage then he pushed them to jump on the crowd again.

random crowdsurfer went up the stage enjoying his 30seconds of fame before Jacoby pushed him back to do another crowdsurf. This was when Jacoby climbed up the speakers reaching the balcony and he went among the crowd singing till he finished the song. Their new single, Lifeline

Forever

they kickin it old school, Getting away with Murder

My all-time favourite, Scars

bbq easter 09

nobody@vox.com(NisaZ) — Sun, 19 Apr 2009 01:51:47 +0100

i had an awesome time at bbss bbq last wednesday.

last minute work wont result in an excellent outcome. i planned out my easter game plan for bbss bbq two days before, totally ignore it the night before because i was busy preparing popia for the bbq. then i did the final plan hours before the game started (with the help of ka yun, eena and jajan - which i just told them on the day about it). I was actually thought twice about doing it because i didnt think it would be as fun as what i did last year. but by the end of the day seeing everyone got so hyped about it and playing along, im so glad.

the weather was a bit gloomy, cloudy all day. at 7am, there were lightning and heavy thunderstorms but it stopped by midday. By afternoon, the bbq feast started. Chicken wings, prawns, sausages and chocolate fountain, we were all stuffed with foods and high in sugar.After the eating feast, it's time to announce the election result of new bbss committee 09/10. Congratulations to those who got voted, do your best for next semester. Then the party started with Limbo challenge. After few challengers, there's one who stood out - Abu the King of Limbo, the guy who chanted the limbo song by himself eheheeee.The Easter game started afterwards - i divided them into 3 groups of 6/7 people and 6 game stages. Each stage winner is given easter eggs and by the end of the game, whoever has the highest no of eggs wins.

- design a miniposter
- superlative game
- who am i charade
- balloon tag
- pentagon blind game
- write us a new song

i told them i had 7 games but i crossed out 1 game at the last minute due to time constraints. Each stage brought us laughter and craziness among the Bibers. Once again, I enjoyed being the game organizer watching their competitiveness and their own way to win the game. and i intentionally made them worked under pressure by limiting the time given. One group made it to the top when they won us all by their creative song and finally won the entire games. Congratulations Kicap song, definitely the best song ever! the videos are on my fb. thanks for the great time Bibers. I simply <3 Birmingham because of you guys and girls.

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at Alton Towers

nobody@vox.com(NisaZ) — Sun, 12 Apr 2009 22:36:28 +0100

Last thursday, we went to alton towers and it was a great day out despite the rainy weather. I love going to theme park although im not a thrill seeker but i just love the idea of being in a themepark. Im weak-hearted when it comes to rides, tell me everything about how awesome it is but when i see it, it makes me wanna puke and have an instant heart attack. When we were there, i only got onto two rides and they're are for kids >.< the rest, i just watched them and went: O.M.G. I couldnt do it. lamah semangat :(

Here's the video compilation of all the rides my friends went onto,

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