7 posts tagged “ponder”

its a pretty boring subject really. but i can help to notice that change happens everyday and i kept on reflecting on it. Lately, life has been tough on me and i found ways to de-stress myself. but the thing is, is it possible that im de-stressing myself too much? be it taking a night stroll, lighting up oil burner, guitar-ing and singing, having badminton games or just chilling with bunch of friends. It seems that now the world moves at a faster pace. I remember when i bought my first tape (and it was KRU, xD) then suddenly the world of music has evolved from tape to a cd and now mp3. It is getting faster and faster, the slower we move to adapt to that change, the more we would be left behind.

Though sometimes I do feel that there are things which I would not change just like what Doctor Yang in Grey's Anatomy once said,

I do have strong opinion sometimes and that only happens when im 100% sure about it. Call me brutal, but when i say no without hesitation, that means NO -- a solid one.

I guess no matter how much this world changes, we still need to know who we are deep down inside. Adapting to that change is our responsibility but not up to the point where we lose ourselves in that change. and im afraid of that. What if i become someone whom i used to despise? someone who is critical, bossy, patronising, persistent or someone hypocrite?

and for that, i wanna say IM SORRY. if i ever hurt anyone's feeling or patronise/insulted anyone -- before, today and tomorrow ahead.

because i know there are some people who lost themself as they changed so much that in the end they do not know who they are any more.

so lets hope we change for the better good.

im aware that i dont know what i want in my life. after what ive been through this year, im not sure if im getting better. i feel like life is throwing things at me to challenge me and so far, i manage to fall but get right back up and try again. but it's haunting me, after what happened i dont think i deserved to be happy. not yet. maybe it's God's way of telling me to wake up and face the fears. but with everyone around me seems to know what they're doing, sometimes i questioned myself. that everything in my life would make sense if i just continue.

you dont know how scared i am to do it all over again.

.because we like to have more stuffs. unnecessary but new stuffs. like every week. depends on how often you go out in a month.

.because we dont make shopping list, every shopping trip means that we stop by every shop before we actually go to the real stop, take a good look around, try some clothes, spend another 30 minutes browsing, then go out of the store with nothing in hand. sometimes we find good bargains, sometimes we're not. we only get to our intended destination by the end of the day when our hands are already full with shopping bags.

.because we follow our wants not our needs.

.because going to the fitting room is our playground. Do you know what girls do in the fitting room? we take pictures of ourselves wearing the outfit for a good 10-15 mins, ambil feel nya org then once we're finish we give them back to the sales assistant, go home and admiring the pictures contemplating whether we should buy it or not. The next time we go to the same store every so often we're doing the same routine all over again. One plan to buy a tshirt end up getting more than a tshirt probably another pair of matching cardigan or new jeans.

.because we always mix n match our outfit from head to toe. Eventhough the new scarf doesnt match with any blouses in our wardrobe, we buy it anyway because we will buy new blouse to match with it. And that's how we do it with other stuffs eg accessories, shoes, bags, makeups, even underwear.

.because we like to have more options upon deciding on what to wear. Kinda like backup strategy. just in case. Thats why we pack more clothes when travelling, i do that all the time.

.because we dont want to wear the same outfit for more than 3x in a month. especially if we're taking pictures.

.because the word sale means bargain. eventhough it's only 10% sale. it's still a discount.

.because having new outfit increase our self-esteem. we feel good inside, we look good outside.

.because we dont call it shopping, we call it Retail Therapy ;)

Nahid told me to find a balance in life. Now how should i do that?

-sigh.

It's amazing how so many works can be done before 9 in the morning. Why is it that when things come too easy we always suspect something is not quite in place? why is it so hard to believe that they're for real? Is it because we are used to having obstacles along the way? but what happens when the obstacles aren't there? does that mean there's something missing? do we have to wait for something to go wrong to make everything right?  

on a totally different note, Sting is legendary.

i had a dream last night, something that reminds me of death :/

thus, this post;

• Dari Abu Qatadah r.a. katanya: Rasulullah SAW bersabda:

• Rasulullah SAW ada bersabda yang bermaksud;

• Apabila bermimpi buruk, bacalah:

• Tidur pada sisi kiri badan(menghadap ke kiri) akan mengganggu kesihatan kerana menghimpit jantung sehingga peredaran darah terganggu dan mengurangi aliran darah ke otak, jika ini terjadi kita akan mengalami mimpi-mimpi sedih dan buruk. Mulakan tidur atau berbaring atas rusuk kanan sebagaimana sabda nabi SAW kepada al-Barra' Mulakanlah tidur kamu di atas rusuk kanan. Jangan tidur dengan cara meniarap yang menekan perut kerana sabda nabi SAW Sesungguhnya cara tidur meniarap adalah tidur ahli neraka.

• Dari Abu Hurairah RA, beliau berkata, Rasulullah SAW bersabda, maksudnya;

Which is more important to you, chemistry or compatibility?

I'd say chemistry, it's the click feeling. Compatibility is how individual can be on the same wavelength with each other. You can be compatible with a lot of people but having a chemistry is the rarer of the two. But do you feel that chemistry does fade over time? One needs to rebuild the sparks that once create the magical feeling. This is when compatibility comes in to reconnect the feelings. I believe chemistry can grow as some people may be reserved not showing their true selves at first but over time their personalities show and chemistry develops. But who am i to say this is true? I don't even know how to differentiate between the real and artificial chemistry. To me, chemistry is when the eye meets and it's connected; not necessarily for the first time though because i don't believe in love at first sight. But again, im the clueless one so dont take my words.

Remember when Ted found out about his compatibility soul mate through the database system? (recap episode HIMYM S1: Matchmaker). Having a 9.6 out of 10 compatibility rate doesn't mean that they are meant to be together. Love cannot be calculated. When it works, it works.

Do anything with compatibility; the horoscope thingy, personality tests, numerology and other love compatible tests but it would not beat the natural power of bonding and sense of completeness you feel with the right person.

Im typing this because i feel like attacking someone with all the why, how, what questions. (note: someone is this context is not that someone, this is someone anyone). So, who wants to be my victim?

I posted it before in my friendster's blog but now that i deleted the blog, i might as well post it here. Let's ponder upon this...Are we too busy?

Everyday as I wake up at dawn
My mind start working the moment I yawn
There were many things to do, o dear!
That's why I hastily did my Subuh prayer
I didn't have the time to sit longer to praise the Lord
To me rushing out after prayer is nothing odd...

Since school, I had been busy every minute
Completing my tutorials and handing it in
My ECAs took up most of my time always
No time did I have to Allah to pray
Too many things to do and zikir is rare
For Allah, I really had no time to spare..

When I grew up and started my career
Working all day to secure my future
When I reached home, I prefered to have fun
I chatted on the phone but I didn't read the Quran
I spent too much time surfing the Internet
Sad to say, my faith was falling flat...

The only time I have left is weekends
During which I prefer window shopping with friends
I couldn't spare time to go to the mosque
I'm too busy, that's the BIG EXCUSE...

I did my five prayers but did so quickly
After prayer, I didn't sit longer to reflect quietly
I didn't have time to help the needy ones
I was loaded with work as my precious time runs

No time at all to visit a sick Muslim friend
To orphans and elderly, I hardly lent a hand
I'm too busy to do community service
When there were gatherings, I helped the least

My life was already full of stress
So I didn't counsel a Muslim in distress
I didn't spend much time with my family
B'coz I thought, doing so is a waste of time...

No time to share with non-Muslim about Islam
Even though I know, inviting causes no harm
No time to do Sunnah prayers at all
All these contribute to my imaan's fall..

I'm busy here and busy there
I've no time at all, that's all I care
I went for religious lessons, just once in awhile
Coz I'm too busy making a pile...

I worked all day and I slept all night
Too tired for Tahajjud and it seemed not right
To me, earning a living was already tough
so I only did basic deeds but that's not enough..

No time at all, to admire God's creation
No time to praise Allah and seek His Compassion
Although I know how short is my life
For Islam, I really didn't strive..

Finally the day comes, when the Lord calls for me
And I stood before Him with my Life's History
I feel so guilty b'coz I should have prayed more
Isn't that what a Muslim lives for?

To thank Allah and do more good deeds
And the Quran is for us all to read..

Now at Judgement Day, I'm starting to fret
I've wasted my life but it's too late to regret
My entry to Paradise depend on my good behavior
But I've not done enough nor did proper prayer

My "good deed book" is given from my right
An angel opened my "book" and read out my plight.

Then the angle chided me....

"O You Muslim servant, you are the one,
Who is given enough time, yet not much is done
Do you know that your faith is loose?
saying "no time" is only an excuse.
Your "good deed book" should be filled up more
with all the good work you stood up for..

Hence, I only recorded those little good deeds
As I say this, I know your eyes will mist..
I was about to write some more, you see
But I did not have, THE TIME to list".......